- Next time someone asks you to analyze something, survey someone, or summarize anything, even if they’re willing to pay you, the answer is NO. Or perhaps, "Sure, I’ll do that first thing in 2007."
- Vacations, last time we checked, were supposed to be LESS stressful than daily life.
- Sometimes you can jump through hoops to get dialup in a rather remote mountain resort town, spending hours fiddling and giving your credit card number to various ISPs, and then the motel next door turns on its wireless modem, and you know, you’re all set. I’m just saying. Now how do I get rid of this stupid Juno speedband thing?
- Do NOT, no matter how close it is to naptime, and no matter that Terry (partner of Sara) carried Toby on her HIP the whole way and back the day before, do NOT attempt to carry your 30-lb son on your shoulders for a mile on a primitive trail through the woods. Unless of course you enjoy holding your head at a quizzical angle and wincing in pain every time you have to move. Because—NEWSFLASH—Terry is WAY tougher than you. Like, duh.
- When you screw up the increases on your unpronounceable shawl (remember how I said it was so soothing and easy because I didn’t have to worry about increases? Yeah, well, it wasn’t so much that I didn’t have to worry about increases as that I didn’t read the pattern), do not attempt to drop stitches down 12 rows to fix it, because you’re talking a lot of increases there and there is SO not enough slack to make them with, and when you realize this, don’t continue to press on, making the world’s tightest little yarn-overs as if it’s all going to come out in blocking even though you know way better than that, because when you’ve worked those rock-hard little stitches with not enough yarn, when you’ve spent four hours fiddling with this cursed mistake, you will hold it back, look at it with your head cocked at a quizzical angle (well, that’s actually because you can’t move your neck, but you know what I mean), and you will say to yourself, “self, you have to rip this back out, what the hell were you thinking?” And you will have no answer. We’ve had this conversation before.
- Finally, don’t take too long of a blogging break from the late report you’re working on, on vacation, for work (and don't tell me not to work on vacation, because people with three jobs and only 24 hours of child care don't get vacations, don't worry, it won't always be this way), because your partner, who is being a terribly good sport, will be back with the kids from the lake before you know it, and if you haven’t accomplished anything, you’re going to feel crappy and she will be unimpressed.
Also…oh, wait. Right. Okay, back to work…I mean vacation…oh, something.