Kepler, Esq., and the Wrath of the Knitting Goddess

Kepleresque.  She's a-blocking. I know that "trying out steeks" in handspun seems like madness, but this stuff is insanely easy and quick to spin, I have a few hundred extra yards at the end, more than half a sheep's worth of fleece in the basement, and for some reason, I didn't panic this time.  Given that I've been thinking about trying steeks for oh, five years now, and have always felt utter panic at the idea, I figured now was the time to go with it.  So go I did. I got Rhys to take a picture of me doing the dastardly deed.

Dude, I was so chuffed by the end of that scissor-wielding event that I even cut the kids' hair.  And while they don't exactly look like they went to the salon, it could be much worse.  Yippee. Then, after running around the house giving people unwanted shag cuts my victory lap, I picked up stitches around the neckline, just wherever I pleased, wherever it looked best, knowing I could just trim the excess as needed, and knitted a twisted i-cord around the neckline. 

Twisted i-cord is so clever I can't even stand it.  I am sure there are instructions for it in other places, but I used Joyce Williams' instructions in Latvian Dreams.  The idea is that you basically knit two i-cords, and alternate applying them to the edging.  Really, I suggest you try it.  It'll make you want to giggle.

By this point I was really quite pleased with myself.  I modified the heck out of this pattern, made the yarn myself, and it came out looking really quite a bit like a sweater.  I was so very cool.  I was tha bomb.  Knitting, you have been conquered.

(Cue dramatic minor-key music.)

You know where this leads.  We've been down this road before.  Pride goeth, you know the story.

Ya know how I've whined about mentioned my hormone issues here on the blog from time to time, like it's not the very definition of TMI?  Like that?  Well, I've basically gained 10 pounds in the past six months, and about 20 in the past year and a half.  I started this sweater six months ago, when I thought I'd be losing the 10 pounds, not gaining 10 more.

Also, you know how a lot of people told me they liked this pattern but worried it would make them look fat, but how I was all, "oh, I made it longer, oh, the structure of the band around the waist will hide my belly, oh, I increased the shaping, it'll be fine."

Yeah, it makes me look fat.  And it's too small.  And the yarn is really thick and thin and the thin spots, when stretched across the ample bosom?  Yeah, it's a charming look.

So, it's blocking (drying after wet-finishing, lying down and losing moisture, call it what you will, no pins or wires are involved).  I took this picture, while it was still the littlest bit damp, so no trying it on yet.  I stretched (sans pins or wires) to the best of my ability.  I'm hopeful.  But realistic.  If you see me wearing it at Spa, remind me to suck in my gut.  Because it looks quite nice when I'm not actually breathing.  And I have been thinking about whether wearing a girdle would be going too far.  The upside is that if there's anything that's likely to get me to actually stick to a diet and exercise regimen, it's handspun and my first steeks.

The tummy test tonight.  Please send my apologies, and my vows of humility, to the knitting goddess.  I could use a break here.

Comments

[Teri]

Oh, it's gorgeous! I love the twisted I-cord.. I'll have to look it up. Inspiration to maybe think it's possible to one of these years I can spin yarn and make a whole sweater out of it..! *bounce*

Please post pics of it on when you can (or just bring it to Chicago and wear it then). (Speaking of which, do you think we'd get many to show for a stitch-n-bitch if we advertised one one of the evenings of the conference?)

[Julie]

The sweater is just stunning! I took a steeking class awhile back and did them on a little wee bear sweater. I thought they were absolutely fun but then again, I figured it was best to learn them before I really knew any better ;) It's sort of an advantage being a relatively new knitter- so many things you just don't know you should be afraid of As for the weight gain- so sorry, it happens to the best of us. I've managed to at least stop gaining but that's all so far. Best of luck for the tummy test, we'll all be pulling for you!

[Carole]

That twisted I-cord is awesome. And I'll bet you're being too critical of how it looks. If I see you wearing it at SPA, I ain't saying a word. Not a word.

[Nancy]

I love the sweater. Just leave it hanging over the back of the chair for inspiration while doing your sit ups;) Steeks still freak me out but I am going to have to try that twisted I-Cord.

[Martha]

That twisted I-cord is the coolest! Thank you for posting such a clear picture that I can kind of figure out how it might be done.

I have faith that you'll lose the extra twenty pounds. But if you don't, you look great anyway. Really. And Kepler hasn't even been pinned yet, so there's all kinds of potential for her.

[Norma]

That twisted I-cord is the cutest damn finish! And oh, Cate, how I hear ya on the weight gain. We've got a fambly wedding in April, the only goal of which for me is to look like a million bucks so I can rub it in my sister-in-law's fat face. Oops, did I say that out loud? But I'd better get workin' on it, or else someone will be rubbing something in MY fat face. And at the end of the day, SHE'LL still be rich and stupid and well-married and fat and I'll still be poor and .... either fat or not.

[claudia]

Until this very moment, I had never even heard of twisted I-cord. Cool beans.

[Kat]

I love the twisted i-cord. I'll have to try that on the Samus neck (if I ever get started on it). Have fun at SPA.

[Carrie]

That is one gorgeous sweater. And I have this feeling that it looks better on you than you think. I bet it fits just right, and you're just being too hard on yourself. The twisted I-cord is so adorable, it almost makes me want to make some, even though the idea of knitting I-cord makes me want to jab my dpns in my eyes.
And dang, I think Norma has some SIL issues...

[Cassie]

Kepler looks amazing.

[Thorny]

Oh wow, it's gorgeous! And I loooove the twisted i-cord. That's quite likely the most ingenious thing I've seen in... well, quite a while. That's awesome!

Let's hope the blocking process works some kind of magic on it and it stops being so recalcitrant about fitting marvelously, eh?

[Cece]

That is an awesome sweater - but dare I take you back to our Ethnic Knitting class... where she said to NEVER design a sweater for the size you 'hope to be'?

LOL. And thanks for showing us the twisted icord. It rocks.

[margene]

Twisted I-cord! What you don't learn on the blogs! It's fabulous. Keplar is beautiful. You'll figure out how to handle her...I have no doubt.

[Rachel H]

I still have no idea what you did, but it looks gorgeous! That twisted i-cord thingy is really neat. I've managed to gain a good 15 pounds over the last year. I'm not liking it much. And yet, I still find myself spending a great deal of time sitting on my ever-more-sizeable arse knitting and just looking (or glaring at or trying to hide from, depending on the mood) at all the nice exercize DVDs on the shelf still in their shiney plastic wrap...

[maryse]

it is so terribly pretty though. i'm sending you good thoughts..

[Chris]

It's gorgeous!!! I don't think a girdle would be unreasonable so that you could wear something so stunning! :)

[Steph]

The sweater looks gorgeous. I am now also in love with twisted i-cord and must try it.

It does suck that it doesn't fit though. Weight related thinks suck in general don't they?

[--Deb]

It really does look fabulous, and I so hear you about the weight gain thing. My waistline is definitely curving in the wrong direction these days, and it's depressing! I really need to do more situps. (Read "any") But . . . really . . . the sweater is beautiful. Think of it as incentive! I mean, you STEEKED it! You deserve to wear it!

[j.]

It's lovely. Weight gained be damned, wear it.

(Whenever I see the word "girdle", I think "Captain Kirk" and start giggling.)

[Katy]

Keeping my fingers crossed--it's so beautiful all laid out!
The twisted I-cord sort of twists my brain. In a good way.

[Laurie]

Lovely FO, including the twisted I cord. Nice technique. And I will also not be the one to pass judgement (she who is not without her own version of sin). Looking forward to checking it out in person.

[Jessica]

What a bummer. The sweater is a beauty.
But steeking is so much fun, isn't it? I remember feeling so powerful I wandered around looking for more knitting to cut up. And I love that twisted i-cord. I saw it on a few sweaters that Joyce brought to camp but haven't found a project to use it on yet.

[julia fc]

It's a beautiful thing, even if it isn't the sweater that makes you beautiful. I often say of a finished thing, there's nothing wrong with this that twenty pounds won't fix. Kepler is a particularly harsh mistress, with a broad horizontal cable panel across the belly? brave you are. But darlin': that neckline is killer (like the girsl say . . . twisted i-cord? Is that something that existed before today) and to have knit a whole sweater out of Monty? I salute you. All these things are lessons. The perfect sweater is still out there waiting. Aren't you glad you still have something to look forward to?

[ru]

Gasp! I was unprepared for the steek-cutting photo first thing in the morning. My husband thought I was reading some alarming news item, and I had to explain-"No, no it's a brave knitting technique where you cut..oh never mind."

"...looks good as long as I'm not actually breathing." Oh, how many of my clothes does that describe!

[CarolineF]

Wow that is gorgeous! I am hoping to spin for that sometime later this year.