Things I've Been Meaning to Tell You

I always remember things I want to blog, or email, or write, or do when I'm a) in the shower, or b) driving.  Despite the article my mother sent me about how motherhood is supposed to make you smarter (dude, feminism aside and all that, uh, NO), my brain cells seem to be so utterly unstable and, well, flighty, that by the time I'm in the actual presence of a computer, my mind is an utter blank.  But today, I'm going to try to remember.

The first one is actually one that I totally couldn't possibly forget.  An embarrassment of riches, really.  Look what arrived in the mail day before yesterday:

That's four bags of camel and one bag of cashmere, a pound each.  Sara, in an act of true friendship, thought of ME when she was presented with the opportunity to buy an obscene amount of luxury fiber at a truly insane bargain price.  A drum carder too.  Louet full-sized for $50.   Oh my goodness.  Is that friendship, or what?  In the context of my extreme SEX encounters over the past few weeks, this just makes me feel like a total glutton.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sara brought samples along to Maryland, and I spindled both the camel and the cash with pretty good success.  I was disappointed, then, when I sat down at the saxony wheel to spin the camel and  couldn't even keep a thread going.  It may well be that I've been spinning the Persimmon Tree romney/mohair for the last few days and I just need to get my short-staple chops back.  But I was kind of surprised.

Sara had a great idea, though: she's going to blend her camel with the Cormo she got in Maryland.  I think the caramel camel and the white Cormo will look great together, and it will be a whole different ball of wax, spinning-wise.  So I'll have my eye out for a Cormo fleece (because yeah, I need more wool), or maybe a rambo or a merino (any other suggestions?).  I'm not going to look too hard, though, since while I may not be approaching SABLE, I think I have my work cut out for me, at least for the summer.  So if I wind up looking for a fall-sheared lamb fleece or something at Rhinebeck, that'll work too.  It'll keep.

Sara.  Thank you.

I'm knitting the Persimmon Tree handspun (yeah, the stuff I brought to work, thanks for making me feel less freaky less alone about that) into a shoalwater shawl.  I confess I don't love it as much knitted up.  I'll love it no matter what (it's my baby!), but it doesn't have the same elegance as that nice little skein.  I am coming to understand how some people spin just to have yarn, not to knit or use the yarn in any way.  I need to get out more, I know.

So, back to the things I've been meaning to tell you.

1. Fleece Artist?  What amazing customer service.  I spent Wednesday calling and emailing all over Canada (they have like 3 U.S. retailers), and no one had the color (or should I say colour, using the vernacular) I need.  But Jana at Fleece Artist got right back to me.  She said that since there wasn't a retailer local to me, they could sell it directly to me, and that I should, get this, send in a sample of the yarn I have so that they can MATCH it for me!  Wow.  Needless to say, the yarn is in the mail.  Hey, I have a chance of actually finishing that project some day.  How about that!

2. Happy anniversary to all the couples who celebrated their first anniversary this week!  It has been one year of real-life gay marriage here in Massachusetts and you know what?  The sky has not yet fallen.  I saw a preview last night for Fear Factor: Newlyweds, which had a gag with some disgusting thing in the wedding cake at a straight couple's wedding.  Because, yeah, the whole desecration of marriage thing, it's a big problem.  Can't have none of those committed, hardworking, loving families doing it.  It will spoil it for Britney.  Not that I'm bitter.

By the way, despite the fact that I have taken to the streets to fight for our equal right to marry, Rhys and I have decided, at least for now, not to exercise that right.  I know, it's kind of weird, but we've been together for more than 13 years, and it just seems completely silly.  There are actually no monetary advantages to it; you still have to do all the legal maneuvering you had to do before, taxes get more complicated, etc., etc., and, well, I'm just enough of a freak radical feminist to have some questions about whether the tradition of marriage, with its history of women as chattel, is something that I, personally, want to participate in.  Plus, if we don't have a big party everyone will be mad at us, but really, we have other uses for a couple of thousand dollars and a whole lot of planning time.

But no, don't get offended, because I really do support equal marriage and I'm totally happy for everyone who wanted nuptials and had them.  And even I have some sense of perspective on the fact that the whole radical political view of marriage is a little bit over the top.  But really, some of my best friends are married.  And now that I've managed to probably offend everyone I am trying to congratulate, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  And happy anniversary to me of the right to choose.  It's all good.  Go give HRC some money to celebrate.

3.  Hey, the person I talked to on the phone at NH was Faery Crafty!  Hi!  Thanks for commenting.  I'm telling you, the wool is taking over my brain.  I was actually talking about breed conservation at work yesterday.  It's bad.  Bad, bad, bad.

4. Oh yeah, duh.  I finally took pictures of my wheels for sale.  So, the ST Lendrum is $225 with the standard package, $325 with the complete package.  Trades considered, make me an offer, all that stuff.  I've had the Lendrum for less than a year--I just realized I really want the DT.

I think there's more, but a) I need to go to work, and b) I posted this half-finished a minute ago by mistake so I'd better put the rest up too.  Hopefully more, and more links, later.

Comments

[Felicia]

Now, isn't that what our right to choose is all about? Choosing what fits our person/life the absolute best. I personally did not choose an abortion - but I sure will defend another woman's right to legally and safely obtain one.

Same principle in action here. In my meager opinion, those who are offended by your stand might reexamine why they have adopted their position!

Now that I've opened the door, I sure hope I can handle what comes my way because of my comments. I don't usually leave ANY comments on blogs because of the fall-out I encountered previously. But you keep on doing what makes your world work.

[ru]

Oh, motherhood makes you smarter. It just doesn't make you smarter in ways that have anything to do with remembering stuff (and I would argue that's not really a measure of intelligence anyway- who cares that when my 4th child was 3 months old or so, I couldn't remember which corner of the envelope the stamp goes on?)
On the marriage issue, I assume that you and Rhys have durable powers of attorney and that sort of thing? Those horror stories of not being able to make medical decisions, etc. are one of the issues that give me the big time chills.

[Anna]

well, just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean that you're obliged to do it, just that the choice is there for you to make personally rather than have it made for you.

And as for being smarter after kids, I wasn't even smart enough to finish reading the article! lol

Anna

[Jenifer]

Hey Cate, thanks for the comment about L. Irigaray ... how did I know you'd be a card-carrying Irigaray-spouting feminist as well??! :) And thanks for the hugs about the week of crap (figurative and literal). I agree with you about the institution of marriage ... I'm not religious so I don't think it's a "big deal" and I have a tough time understanding why it is for others. DH and I got married by a man named Darwin in the mountains outside of Estes Park, CO. I do think the financial benefits of unions are worth it, however! Take care back to you.
P.S. I'm drooling over that cashmere!

Nope. You didn't offend me. I chose to marry my partner, but carefully considered the meaning of the whole "institution." I am torn about this issue. Friends from college, where I was a women's studies major, always harassed me about being a "1970s lesbian" which basically meant a "radical lesbian feminist" and not a "postmodern identity lesbian." Whatever. Really, I'm probably both. So I chose marriage as a political statement. We have the right, let's use it. But I still don't like the institution and the effects its had on women over the last millennia.

The more important congratulations is -- CONGRATS on being together for over 13 years and having twins and a house and jobs and hobbies and and and. That dedication and commitment is worth a celebration. Even if you aren't legally married, this is a time to celebrate gay relationships, however they are structured. Break out the streamers!

[The Feminist Mafia]

Nope. You didn't offend me. I chose to marry my partner, but carefully considered the meaning of the whole "institution." I am torn about this issue. Friends from college, where I was a women's studies major, always harassed me about being a "1970s lesbian" which basically meant a "radical lesbian feminist" and not a "postmodern identity lesbian." Whatever. Really, I'm probably both. So I chose marriage as a political statement. We have the right, let's use it. But I still don't like the institution and the effects its had on women over the last millennia.

The more important congratulations is -- CONGRATS on being together for over 13 years and having twins and a house and jobs and hobbies and and and. That dedication and commitment is worth a celebration. Even if you aren't legally married, this is a time to celebrate gay relationships, however they are structured. Break out the streamers!

[Nancy]

The whole idea is you should have that choice. My cousin is Icelandic and when she and her wife were dating it was simple for them to decide their future together because marriage was available for them. That's the way it should be. There are plenty of straight people who choose to be with their significant other without that piece of paper and it doesn't lessen the commitment one bit (I've always felt it means a little more when you stay every day without the law telling you it's your obligation but that's just me).

[Jo in Ottawa]

I'm with you on the institution. I recommend Nancy Cott's Sacred Vows if you don't mind reading history (well written but nevertheless a bit heavy). Doesn't 13 years feel scary sometimes? Does to me but nice too.

And don't apologize about the radical feminism stuff. Makes a lot of sense. Those who think it is an insult usually don't understand what it's about.

[mamamarta]

um, yeah, i'm totally offended. just last night, no joke, without even realizing it was the aniversary, i was thinking, "when are rhys and cate going to make honest women of each other?" look, i love a wedding, and i've yet to go to a real live lesbian one that's legal and all that, and you and rhys are the only real live lesbians who i know who live in mass., so i think you really need to get over all this retro-70's-radical-feminist-oh-the-institution-of-marriage-is-so-backwards-(did you really use the word "chattel"?)-crap and just get over it and get married, okay? choice, shmoice, i think you owe it to the rest of us to have a big old party. look, you could register at webs! a radical lesbian feminist fiber freak wedding!

xoxo

marta

[sara]

I have to say, I'm sorta with Marta :) Especially on the registering part. Wouldn't THAT be more fun than Filene's or china.

[Orris]

Offended? Heck no. You two are poster children for how to run a good relationship. If you don't want the piece of paper, you've proven pretty conclusively that you don't need it. In fact, in my not so humble opinion, anyone who _needs_ that piece of paper just to stay together shouldn't marry at all.

That being said, we married over a year after it became legal, at a time when it looked like it made be made un-legal (as opposed to illegal). Taxes are more complicated, but now children and last names thereof will be easier.

You are inspirational. I have to agree with Nancy. The choice should be completely unremarkable, whether to marry or not to.

As for the wedding part....might I suggest throwing an UNwedding....party...gifts of a registry or fibrey variety, lovely cake. Satisfies the friends, and avoids the tax-paperwork.

Hugs

[Jenny]

Congratulations to both of you! I have to agree, it sounds like you all have a wonderful thing going, and as long as everyone's happy, then fabulous! As others have commented, the important thing is that the option exists. Then again, I'm sure *someone* would come up with some qiviut as a wedding present...

I've got to disagree with the article, though, on some of the hormones involved - prolactin and oxytocin may not dumb you down much, but estrogen can be a b!tch on working memory and processing speed. I know I've always felt smart as a box of hair while pregnant, and the ability to do simple mental math fast came back on at around 6 - 9 months postpartum. Still feeling a bit ditzy now at 10.5 months out, but I think with twins it's a whole different ballgame. Your kids are darling, by the way.

[Lee Ann]

Happy Anniversary, and good for you both for doing as you see fit, although I second the nervousness about the powers of attorney and all that...specially with kids around...and that offer of quiviut. Jeez. That's a reason enough to have a big party :-)

I had a child, I became totally scattered. Okay, I was a little like that before, but I really think something happened during nursing...I felt like my brain fell out. And then there are all the bits and pieces for a small person that you have to remember in addition to your own bits and pieces...it's amazing how people still manage to be fed, clothed and clean around here :-)